This Is Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

This Is Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

One reason why sometimes you hate scrolling down the Facebook feed is seeing your friends getting ahead of where you are. Admit that. Continue reading “This Is Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself”

Advertisements

An Open Letter To The Relationship I Wish I Hadn’t Messed Up

An Open Letter To The Relationship I Wish I Hadn’t Messed Up

Looking back, I now see my arrogance and ignorant ways of my past self. How is it that in the present we lack the ability to stop ourselves from making horrible decisions? I am fully aware that we need to make these mistakes in order to grow and learn but is it really worth the self-discovery at the cost of someone else’s pain? Continue reading “An Open Letter To The Relationship I Wish I Hadn’t Messed Up”

Most Times I Am Doing My Best

Most Times I Am Doing My Best

Sometimes I hate. 

Sometimes I think terrible thoughts. 

Sometimes I get jealous. 

Sometimes I am not grateful for what I have. 

Sometimes I want more and I’m never satisfied. 

Sometimes I laugh and I really do not mean it. 

Sometimes I smile, but I’m really rolling my eyes. 

Sometimes I’m nice only because I have to be. 

Sometimes I stay positive only to fight someone’s negativity. 

Sometimes I care too much about what other people think. 

Sometimes I say things that are hurtful to others. 

Sometimes I’m angry with everyone because I have too many thoughts in my head. 

Sometimes I judge people. 

Sometimes I think people overreact without trying to understand. 

Sometimes I do nothing instead of doing something good. 

Sometimes I take the easy way out. 

Sometimes I really could care less. 

Sometimes I am not really happy to see others happy. 

Sometimes I wish I could run away. 

Sometimes I wish I could just give up. 

Sometimes it hurts to look back at these thoughts. 

Sometimes I agree with them to avoid conflict.

Society makes us believe that these sort of thoughts are unforgivable. If I had a choice, I would choose not to think about these things. I work on this on a daily basis, but I have learned that I work better when I challenge why these thoughts came into mind in the first place. At the end of the day, we are all only human and we cannot always control what runs past our mind. This is okay. I am here to say you are not alone. I can say that with a fact that this does not make you a terrible person. I have a list of why this is;

Most times I am not thinking about what could go wrong. 

Most times I am smiling and working to make someone else smile.

Most times I apologize for doing something hurtful.

Most times I will not repeat my hurtful words.

Most times I celebrate other’s success.

Most times I laugh enough to work on my anxiety.

Most times I say grace for the small things.

Most times I make the most of what I have.

Most times I am nice when I do not need to be.

Most times I will compliment a small detail.

Most times I stay positive to infect it in everyone’s day. 

Most times I do the right thing even when no one is looking. 

Most times I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. 

Most times I am sorry for the decisions I make that hurt others.

Most times I stay put and face my problems head-on. 

Most times I look back on my thoughts and smile. 

Most times I have no idea what I am doing, but I continue to do it. 

Most times I do good instead of doing nothing. 

Most times I love. 

The point is, most times I am doing the best I can do, and that is okay. 

I Miss Our Old Conversations

I Miss Our Old Conversations

I miss our old conversations around 3 am
and the way we both stay awake for the next reply
I miss our movie marathons with popcorns and blankets
while giving spoilers to each other and chatting in the end
I miss our car trips featuring our favourite songs
that left us screaming their lyrics at the top of our lungs
I miss the way you’d gently squeeze my hand
every time you wanted to say “I love you” but couldn’t
I miss the way your lips touched my skin
left them marked, burning and glowing in the dark
I miss the way you said that you have missed me
but you never did and none of what I said was real

I miss what we never became
because you just couldn’t love me back in this game
I miss what you never said
since you were too busy talking to someone else
I miss what you never did
for your skin wanted some other girl’s against it
but most of all I miss the other me
who’d have possibly made you fall for her, head over heels

An Open Letter To The Soul In Need Of Healing

An Open Letter To The Soul In Need Of Healing

I hear the shattering pieces of your soul shake around your body as you speak, as you stare in silence and get carried away with your thoughts, as you smile trying to pretend it is okay to feel so broken, as you gently touch your hair and fix it in hopes of looking good to feel better. Continue reading “An Open Letter To The Soul In Need Of Healing”

For The Girls Who Do Not Fear Wolves

For The Girls Who Do Not Fear Wolves

When Little Red Riding Hood
Defeats the wolf –
When the lamb becomes the lion –
And the prey becomes the huntress –
Everyone acts surprised

As if they did not see her coming
As if they did not place the salt on her wounds.
As if they did not cut her open, open her wide –
Expect her to swallow her defeat

They should’ve learned
A long time ago
Exactly who she was
You saw the scars
You saw the battle wounds
You knew she survived them

So tell me,
What kind of woman survives this kind of war?
Only a woman who is the war

Who brings the war with her,
Her bare naked feet filled with soot,
Scorched earth between her toes
They tried to pour ice into her lungs –
Tried to keep the truth buried, frozen –
Tried to keep her quiet, but they forgot –

She still breathes fire because she was made from it

You will ask her to bow and she will climb
You will ask her to crawl and she will rise
You will ask her to die and she will be reborn.
You will bury her and she will grow

You should’ve known that
This is not a woman
Who fears the wolf
The wolf fears her