When I Think About The Fact That We Didn’t End Up Together

I switched off the lights hoping
for darkness to swallow
my feelings for you.
But I was a fool
to trust it.
Because darkness ate me whole.
Darkness made me remember you.

There was a light flickering
off the distance.
I wondered if it was hope
I wondered if I should chase it,
the same way I ran
after you.

I thought about crying,
embracing the pain,
feeling the hollow in my soul.
But my tears ran dry.
I probably should blame
it on the well
and not on the faucet.
I probably should point fingers
to anyone
but you.

The silence in the room urged me
to mourn for your loss.
Be upset –
punch the wall beside me
until my knuckles bled.
And scream on top of my lungs.
But the silence was so loud
I couldn’t even hear my own anger.
So I gave up; I let go.
I just sat in my bed
and watched our memories
slowly dance in my ceiling,
a black and white film.

There was something beautiful,
yet tragic in our sweet
little love affair.
Our love burned so bright
we set each other on fire,
until our bones turned to ashes
and set off in different directions.

I thought I should close my eyes
force myself to sleep,
but I grew up finding comfort
in the darkness.
I found home
in seeing almost nothing.
So I vowed to keep my eyes
wide open,
and forget you
all over again.

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