Most Times I Am Doing My Best

Sometimes I hate. 

Sometimes I think terrible thoughts. 

Sometimes I get jealous. 

Sometimes I am not grateful for what I have. 

Sometimes I want more and I’m never satisfied. 

Sometimes I laugh and I really do not mean it. 

Sometimes I smile, but I’m really rolling my eyes. 

Sometimes I’m nice only because I have to be. 

Sometimes I stay positive only to fight someone’s negativity. 

Sometimes I care too much about what other people think. 

Sometimes I say things that are hurtful to others. 

Sometimes I’m angry with everyone because I have too many thoughts in my head. 

Sometimes I judge people. 

Sometimes I think people overreact without trying to understand. 

Sometimes I do nothing instead of doing something good. 

Sometimes I take the easy way out. 

Sometimes I really could care less. 

Sometimes I am not really happy to see others happy. 

Sometimes I wish I could run away. 

Sometimes I wish I could just give up. 

Sometimes it hurts to look back at these thoughts. 

Sometimes I agree with them to avoid conflict.

Society makes us believe that these sort of thoughts are unforgivable. If I had a choice, I would choose not to think about these things. I work on this on a daily basis, but I have learned that I work better when I challenge why these thoughts came into mind in the first place. At the end of the day, we are all only human and we cannot always control what runs past our mind. This is okay. I am here to say you are not alone. I can say that with a fact that this does not make you a terrible person. I have a list of why this is;

Most times I am not thinking about what could go wrong. 

Most times I am smiling and working to make someone else smile.

Most times I apologize for doing something hurtful.

Most times I will not repeat my hurtful words.

Most times I celebrate other’s success.

Most times I laugh enough to work on my anxiety.

Most times I say grace for the small things.

Most times I make the most of what I have.

Most times I am nice when I do not need to be.

Most times I will compliment a small detail.

Most times I stay positive to infect it in everyone’s day. 

Most times I do the right thing even when no one is looking. 

Most times I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. 

Most times I am sorry for the decisions I make that hurt others.

Most times I stay put and face my problems head-on. 

Most times I look back on my thoughts and smile. 

Most times I have no idea what I am doing, but I continue to do it. 

Most times I do good instead of doing nothing. 

Most times I love. 

The point is, most times I am doing the best I can do, and that is okay. 

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