This Is Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

One reason why sometimes you hate scrolling down the Facebook feed is seeing your friends getting ahead of where you are. Admit that. When you see them building their own houses, holding car keys, carrying a graduate school registration form, getting their passports stamped manyfold for different countries, or even having their own families, a subtle smile shows up on your face but at the same time there’s something at the back of your mind that makes you fidget. You’re feeling small because you’re being too timid, passive in life.

Let me tell you this: it’s okay.


It’s okay because we all feel small at times. Don’t panic.
 You just have to realize that you are in a different aspect of time. Just because some people your age (or even below) are achieving prodigious feats doesn’t mean you’re already a teensy-weensy average person. Let me share to you one of my favorite quotes from Steven Furtick: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” At the first place, stop comparing. We are made with innate differences wired for different situations. Everybody at the zenith has gone through a rocky climb. Some of them might have had a smooth, easy climb but they had that fear of heights that they had to conquer all along; and some had all the courage but they’ve faced arduous, perilous way up. Situations vary. So it’s okay that you are not like them, you are in a different zone.

With that, know you just have to focus on your goals.

You may still observe what’s happening in their lives, but don’t let it drive you emulous. Look at them and LEARN from their situations. Allow inspiration to come in, because it’s also wrong to feel too proud. Then give the focus back to where you are, and to the place where you want to be. Solve the problems that thwart you by using your resources and the skills you’re blessed with. Are you facing financial issues? Then make a way on how to earn or at least save. Does your body make it difficult for you? Maybe it’s time that you choose health over indulgence. Is your environment not conducive for you to thrive? Then get out of it. You just have to be decisive. You can do it. Trust yourself. Fiercely face your own hindrances and focus on your goals regardless of the time, regardless of others.

It’s not about reaching what others can reach, it’s about reaching something beyond your reach.

Don’t look at others as competitors because… they don’t even care about you. Do they know about how you feel? No. It’s not about outdoing them, but it’s about outdoing yourself—your old self. Seize every day to make yourself better than you are the day before. Make it gradual by accustoming yourself to a just-woke-up thought where you aim to improve something before your feet hit the floor. Your sport, your cooking, your craft, your typing speed, your vocabulary, and whatnot—they always have a room for improvement, it’s just up to you if want to deal with it. Furthermore, little successes count. Have you overcome something lately? Have you done something for the first time? Have you let your loved ones feel your affection? Have you helped some stranger? Count it as success. It doesn’t need to be something loud anyway.

Success is not exigent, it just wants to see that you’re doing something to achieve it. You see, you won’t be envious of others if you know to yourself that you’re not squandering your time. You need not to be in a hurry. Don’t look down on yourself just because you see others blaring their achievements. You have your own battlefield.

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