I know firsthand how hard it can be to breathe.
Life puts a vice on you in a way you can’t explain. You can’t put into words the constriction in your soul. You don’t know how it got there, you just know it comes and goes as it pleases, like a wayward lover. Your soul tied in knots, goosebumps on your skin spelling out your secrets, an unforgiving chill runs down your spine. Your stomach, unable to settle, caving in on itself. Your mind a guard, securing you in the prison of your body.
I’ve been there…and you may be there too. You are not alone.
Sometimes you have to slow down to a crawl, so you can escape in the underground tunnel of your faith – which is most often buried under the concrete that weighs your spirit down. There will be days where the best thing you can do is nothing at all. Feel the heaviness…cry it out…sleep it off. There’s no definition to your version of self care. But even in those days where the pain seems unending, remember the faith buried deep inside you that, once released, will carry you to freedom.
Freedom from what? From the prison created by your deepest fears.
You may fear that you are inadequate, unworthy of warmth and compassion. You may fear that you will fail. That your dreams will never be attained. You may fear having dreams or desires because you don’t think they’ll come true anyway and the rejection and disappointment is too much to bear. You may fear reaching out only to be pulled away from.
You may fail…but you will rise.
Every day that dawns you have the chance to rise, like the sun. You may have crawled inside yourself, but you can emerge from that darkness into the light that your faith creates. You don’t have to fear hope – that maybe the door opens and your dream comes to fruition..that maybe the hand you extend will be enveloped by another…that maybe, just maybe, today you will feel the warmth that releases your soul from the from the chains fear created.
I am here to validate your struggles. But I am also here to remind you that the space you occupy in the world is valuable. You matter – no matter what you may have told yourself or been told by someone else. You are beyond adequate – you are magnificent. You are beyond worthy – you are priceless. You may have scars, but that is where the light can get in and the shadows are chased out. Every breath you take, though labored is a testament to your strength – another chance to get through. Another step towards your light.
Faith is another breath away. Breathe in, my darling. Breathe in.